Don’t lose your mind this year
The holidays CAN be merry and bright… I pinky swear.
Set aside time for yourself.
Amidst the hustle and bustle of buying presents, decorating the house, baking cookies, healing from the wounds left by a narcissistic parent or ex, attending multiple awkward work holiday parties (please, enough with Secret Santa) - or whatever it is that has you busy this time of year - TAKE. A. BREAK. This may look like going to get your nails done, getting a massage, or a long relaxing bubble bath, or maybe meeting a friend for lunch. It could also be making an appointment with your therapist.
But honestly, it can be anything you do FOR YOU. Taking 5 minutes to listen to your favorite song or do a guided meditation in the car before braving Target at 5pm. Lying to your coworkers and boss and saying you have the sniffles and need to leave work early so that you can have an hour to yourself before the family descends. (Yes, I did just condone lying, in this circumstance… don’t take it too far!)
Being around people you love is extra special during the holidays. It can also be extra stressful if you aren’t careful. Which leads to the next tip…
2. Don’t overcommit
I know, I know. You want to make a gingerbread house, cut down a tree in the woods Clark Griswold style, go caroling, DIY/shop local for all your holiday gifts, see every family member, go to every party, peruse every sale, go on vacation, be present with your kids/partner/pets/parents/roommates, binge watch Hallmark (and Die Hard because yes it is a Christmas movie thank you very much). have all your shopping done by December 15th, pick up 12 new hobbies for each day of Christmas, etc, etc, etc. Don’t get me wrong… you probably can. But at what cost? You run the risk of wearing yourself out, and not enjoying a single moment.
Pick a small number of people, places, and things that are most important for you to interact with this season. Make a list and rank it in order of priority if you need to.
3. Half-ass it if you have to
The pre-made and deli sections at grocery stores and markets exist for a reason.
A gift card you bought in line at WalMart or the convenience store is still a thoughtful gift.
I want you to remember this phrase: “Something is better than nothing”. Parcel out your energy based on your priorities and values - if something isn’t a priority, try not to put too much time and energy into it.
4. What’s actually important to you?
Try to focus more on time with the people and places you love, not the gifts, food, decorations, party prep, etc. I know we all love an aesthetic selfie moment, but I can assure you it’s not as important as making good memories with the people you care about most.
But hey, no judgement if you are much more interested in the aesthetics and your tablescape than the people. You do you!
5. Become a boundary badass.
No, Aunt Karen, you may not make comments about my body. No, Mema, my child does not have to hug anybody they do not wish to hug. No, Father, I will not be sleeping on a pull out couch with 5 of my cousins and siblings, I’ll be getting an AirBNB.
Let’s let 2023 be the year we say goodbye to accepting these gems from folks: “Oh, that’s just how So-And-So is!. You know that’s not how I meant it!. Stop being so sensitive/dramatic/uppity, etc. Family comes first/blood is thicker than water! Just be nice. Just do what your Older Family Member says”. Yeah, how about NO. Holidays, genetics, age, and lack of social graces and couth are no longer legitimate excuses for accepting people’s bullshit.
6. Beware of January
We’re all in this weird pre and post-holiday, peri-New Year but not quite yet New Year’s haze where nobody knows what day it is or what we’re supposed to be doing… and by the time January 1st comes around this sensation gets even stronger.
Take it easy on yourself. Don’t hit the ground running - that would probably hurt your knees anyway. Start 2024 off gently.
7. Mental health/physical health check up and check in
Make some appointments! Go see your doctor for a check up or to finally get that weird pain in your ankle check out that you’ve been self-medicating for 6 months. Talk to your therapist/chiropractor/BFF/religious leader/fav colleague about your feelings and how you’re actually doing.
If you don’t already have a somatic mindfulness practice as part of your routine, I highly suggest it. Fostering your “mind-body” connection can help you to stay present in the moment, reduce stress and anxiety, worry less about the future and past, concentrate more easily, and some people even say it helps with their physical pains!
8. Fa La La La Finances
A great prophet once said…“Mo money, mo problems”. But money can be stressful no matter how much (or how little of it) we have. Financial stress can be a significant source of anxiety during the holidays. Create a budget, stick to it, and consider alternative ways to celebrate that don't involve excessive spending
9. Create your own traditions
Not everyone has merry memories of this time of year. But the holidays aren’t going anywhere. If you’re able to, start your own traditions! What are some things you would actually enjoy doing? Maybe you start an annual axe throwing or archery competition amongst your friends, followed up by Asian cuisine and a documentary on sharks. It doesn’t have to be “holiday themed”.
If the holidays aren’t your thing in general, see my last tip below:
10. Say fuck it and go on vacation
Seriously. If you’re supposed to work, and can afford to, call in sick! If you aren’t working but your family expects you to go caroling in 20 degree weather and you’d rather papercut every finger you have instead… call in sick! Then get on a plane, get in your car, and just go somewhere. Or stay home and explore your neighborhood and have some time to yourself.
